Lawrence Coates’ The Master of Monterey, was an interesting read. Coates incorporates humor with history and cultural backgrounds of his different characters to make them come alive on the page. One of my favorite lines that Lawrence Coates read when he did a reading of the first chapter of his book, was about how Jones plans to set Hannibal “free” when in that very same sentence Jones explained his plans for how Hannibal can be free as long as he is at Jones’ every “beck and call” for “wage[s] to be paid…whenever he remembered” (p. 10). In the sentence we see the irony of this freedom Jones intends to give Hannibal, which indeed is not freedom at all and depending on the quality of Jones’ memory it had the potential to be a step up from what most slaves experienced at the time.
I really liked the distinction Coates made between dialogue and narrative text. Instead of the traditional quotation marks he used an m-dash at the initial start of each speaker’s words; this was a unique touch that I think fit well with the style of the work. Even though he didn’t use another m-dash to indicate where the dialogue ended and where it resumed, it was easy to distinguish because of the distinct voices of the characters and of the narration. I also liked how Coates integrates Spanish and English words and phrases in the dialogue. It makes the characters and dialogue more realistic. I translated the first couple Spanish phrases and was surprised to see that they weren’t the same as the English counterpart also spoken right after the Spanish phrases. It was confusing at first but I found that I liked this style, it made the story and non-Spanish speaking characters more relatable because I was experiencing the same language gap that they were. One exchange that I particularly liked was when Arcadia was telling her husband Rafael Rafael that she was pregnant,
“—estoy embarazada, she said. I can feel it.”
And although she spoke in spanish, he knew exactly what she had said.”(p. 233).
It was a statement that gave the reader a personal connection to the characters and the moment that the two were sharing.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Critical Response #6
Critical response
I really enjoyed reading “Tell me what it means.” There was a little bit of an edge of suspense throughout the short story. The whole time I was reading it, I kept trying to guess what the object was and at first I thought it might have been a letter of some sorts that told him that his wife had left him, but then I thought that that was too obvious. I really liked the line “distant looks and irritatingly expectant fingertaps on the tabletop,” because it really gives the reader an insight into what is happeneing between this couple and how apparently oblivious the man is.
Like Colleen said, I really want to know more about why he’s so surprised about surviving all these different events in his life. Did he do stupid, unsensical things in high school that were dangerous? Or when he says survived high school does he mean grade wise. I want more insight into his back story because I feel like the author could really expand on this story and make it something great. But I just don’t think she knows her character very well right now.
I really enjoyed reading “Tell me what it means.” There was a little bit of an edge of suspense throughout the short story. The whole time I was reading it, I kept trying to guess what the object was and at first I thought it might have been a letter of some sorts that told him that his wife had left him, but then I thought that that was too obvious. I really liked the line “distant looks and irritatingly expectant fingertaps on the tabletop,” because it really gives the reader an insight into what is happeneing between this couple and how apparently oblivious the man is.
Like Colleen said, I really want to know more about why he’s so surprised about surviving all these different events in his life. Did he do stupid, unsensical things in high school that were dangerous? Or when he says survived high school does he mean grade wise. I want more insight into his back story because I feel like the author could really expand on this story and make it something great. But I just don’t think she knows her character very well right now.
Critical Response 7
Colleen Mundy
Dr. Tony Barnstone
ENGL 302
April 7, 2009
Critical Response #7
Critical Response to Kelly Hanken
“Tell Me What It Means”
I like this story. It is short, though, which leaves me feeling somewhat empty when the main character’s surprises are listed. I am left without knowing the history of why he didn't expect to live through high school and I want to know why he drinks so much and takes so many pills. Or was that all in the past? I think if this was a little bit longer, and the author had a little bit more time, maybe, that this could develop more.
I really like how the author gives the key personality with some of the adjectives used. For example, the key sits on the counter, unassuming, it needed no explanation. I would like to know, however, what happened with the owner. I assume it was a lover who left the main character, but I feel like I just need to see a little bit more. I like the described “distant looks and irritatingly expectant finger taps on the tabletop,” though. It seems to give a sense of the kind of atmosphere in the house.
I also was drawn to the fact that he kept glancing at it, almost as if he couldn’t believe it was there. He went about his life, making dinner, calling people, and finally looking at it with careful consideration. I could imagine his confusion at the object when he was looking at it from all of the different angles. I think that this part of the story could be expanded and developed a little bit more and describe the key, relate it to things in the relationship.
Dr. Tony Barnstone
ENGL 302
April 7, 2009
Critical Response #7
Critical Response to Kelly Hanken
“Tell Me What It Means”
I like this story. It is short, though, which leaves me feeling somewhat empty when the main character’s surprises are listed. I am left without knowing the history of why he didn't expect to live through high school and I want to know why he drinks so much and takes so many pills. Or was that all in the past? I think if this was a little bit longer, and the author had a little bit more time, maybe, that this could develop more.
I really like how the author gives the key personality with some of the adjectives used. For example, the key sits on the counter, unassuming, it needed no explanation. I would like to know, however, what happened with the owner. I assume it was a lover who left the main character, but I feel like I just need to see a little bit more. I like the described “distant looks and irritatingly expectant finger taps on the tabletop,” though. It seems to give a sense of the kind of atmosphere in the house.
I also was drawn to the fact that he kept glancing at it, almost as if he couldn’t believe it was there. He went about his life, making dinner, calling people, and finally looking at it with careful consideration. I could imagine his confusion at the object when he was looking at it from all of the different angles. I think that this part of the story could be expanded and developed a little bit more and describe the key, relate it to things in the relationship.
Critical Response 6
Colleen Mundy
Dr. Tony Barnstone
ENGL 302
April 7, 2009
Critical Response #6
Critical Response to T.C. Boyle’s “Greasy Lake”
I actually really enjoyed reading this story. Boyle, in my opinion, did a great job drawing readers into his characters and getting them involved in the story. One thing that really stood out to me about his characters, however, is that they may have seemed like bad characters and may have gotten in that fight, but the only really bad thing that happened in that fight was the one swing with the tire iron. Also, Digby and Jeff seemed to disappear very quickly when the situation turned and other people showed up at Greasy Lake. They seemed to run away in my opinion and leave the narrator alone.
Another big thing that stood out to me was the fact that the narrator is never named. Digby and Jeff have specific names, but the narrator, who is relaying all of the information, remains unnamed. Even the dead biker is given a name. But when Digby tries to get the narrator to drive away at the end of the story, after the fight and after the car has been destroyed, he calls “his name,” but we as readers never know what that name is.
I think that Boyle includes some great plot twists, number one being the fact that the man was not dead after the fight. I also liked the finding of the dead biker. That is something that one would expect to find at a lake described so in detail as Greasy Lake.
Dr. Tony Barnstone
ENGL 302
April 7, 2009
Critical Response #6
Critical Response to T.C. Boyle’s “Greasy Lake”
I actually really enjoyed reading this story. Boyle, in my opinion, did a great job drawing readers into his characters and getting them involved in the story. One thing that really stood out to me about his characters, however, is that they may have seemed like bad characters and may have gotten in that fight, but the only really bad thing that happened in that fight was the one swing with the tire iron. Also, Digby and Jeff seemed to disappear very quickly when the situation turned and other people showed up at Greasy Lake. They seemed to run away in my opinion and leave the narrator alone.
Another big thing that stood out to me was the fact that the narrator is never named. Digby and Jeff have specific names, but the narrator, who is relaying all of the information, remains unnamed. Even the dead biker is given a name. But when Digby tries to get the narrator to drive away at the end of the story, after the fight and after the car has been destroyed, he calls “his name,” but we as readers never know what that name is.
I think that Boyle includes some great plot twists, number one being the fact that the man was not dead after the fight. I also liked the finding of the dead biker. That is something that one would expect to find at a lake described so in detail as Greasy Lake.
Story #12
Colleen Mundy
Story #12 (against prompt)
Eggs
It was her very first egg and Kathy could hardly sit still while her mother carefully pulled it from the basket which cradled it. It was Kathy’s 11th birthday and the only thing she wanted was a pet. She sat in the middle of her backyard in the soft, full grass while her father sat at the patio table drinking a glass of scotch. He ran a nervous hand through his hair, hoping the egg would produce a nice hamster, a cat even, rather than a pig or God forbid an ostrich or something.
God love science, he thought as he watched his wife place the egg on the grass in front of their daughter. It was about the size of a soccer ball, but any size animal could be curled up inside waiting to be released. That was the new thing in 2036: all animals came from eggs, scientifically produced and manufactured; not enough animals remained from the extinction for natural reproduction. The eggs were sold with an added bonus of surprise, also. No one ever knew what animal would come from an egg until it was cracked, and an egg could sit without being cracked for years and still be good. Kathy’s father put down his empty glass and lit a cigarette as his wife handed Kathy a small hammer.
Kathy clutched at the hammer and starred at the egg with expectant eyes. Her mother backed away from her daughter, excited to see her first egg cracking. She folded her hands behind her back, threw a glance over her shoulder at her husband who took a long drag on his cigarette, and crossed her fingers that it would be a normal, domesticated animal. Kathy placed the head of the hammer on the very tip of the egg, pulled it back and let it drop ever so lightly on the egg; one little tap is all it took.
The egg split down from tip to bottom in four equal pieces and the shell opened like a rose. Kathy’s face dropped as she peered inside, down to the very bottom of the egg. Her mother inched forward and gasped, clasping a hand over her mouth. Kathy’s father jumped up out of his chair on the patio, flinging his cigarette to the concrete and stepping on it on his way to his wife’s side. Kathy titled her head on angle and raised an eyebrow as she traced her finger along the shell of the first empty animal egg in history. Her father reached into his shirt pocket for another cigarette.
Story #12 (against prompt)
Eggs
It was her very first egg and Kathy could hardly sit still while her mother carefully pulled it from the basket which cradled it. It was Kathy’s 11th birthday and the only thing she wanted was a pet. She sat in the middle of her backyard in the soft, full grass while her father sat at the patio table drinking a glass of scotch. He ran a nervous hand through his hair, hoping the egg would produce a nice hamster, a cat even, rather than a pig or God forbid an ostrich or something.
God love science, he thought as he watched his wife place the egg on the grass in front of their daughter. It was about the size of a soccer ball, but any size animal could be curled up inside waiting to be released. That was the new thing in 2036: all animals came from eggs, scientifically produced and manufactured; not enough animals remained from the extinction for natural reproduction. The eggs were sold with an added bonus of surprise, also. No one ever knew what animal would come from an egg until it was cracked, and an egg could sit without being cracked for years and still be good. Kathy’s father put down his empty glass and lit a cigarette as his wife handed Kathy a small hammer.
Kathy clutched at the hammer and starred at the egg with expectant eyes. Her mother backed away from her daughter, excited to see her first egg cracking. She folded her hands behind her back, threw a glance over her shoulder at her husband who took a long drag on his cigarette, and crossed her fingers that it would be a normal, domesticated animal. Kathy placed the head of the hammer on the very tip of the egg, pulled it back and let it drop ever so lightly on the egg; one little tap is all it took.
The egg split down from tip to bottom in four equal pieces and the shell opened like a rose. Kathy’s face dropped as she peered inside, down to the very bottom of the egg. Her mother inched forward and gasped, clasping a hand over her mouth. Kathy’s father jumped up out of his chair on the patio, flinging his cigarette to the concrete and stepping on it on his way to his wife’s side. Kathy titled her head on angle and raised an eyebrow as she traced her finger along the shell of the first empty animal egg in history. Her father reached into his shirt pocket for another cigarette.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Critical Response to Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s One of These Days
Matt Carroll
Critical Response to Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s One of These Days
In the very first paragraph of this short story the author establishes a few things. The author establishes an environment, a dentist office, as well as the time of day. This creates certain expectations for this story. The character of the dentist is established by showing some of his work as well as his clothing items.
This seems like a very ordinary character, introducing his son who is also in the office, but the catch in this story, the hook line, is when the son explains the mayor will shoot him if he does not pull his tooth. This caught me as a reader and I am sure this was designed by the author. My expectations of the dentist was that he would agree to pull the tooth, but the author continued to catch me by having the dentist refuse to pull the mayor’s tooth by telling his son to tell the mayor to come in and shoot him. This creates interest of why the dentist refuses to see the mayor. Later it is revealed, but it’s under very mysterious circumstances. The dentist suggests the mayor is responsible for twenty men’s deaths. This is a very good technique to reveal the mayor is corrupted without actually saying in the third person limited form.
The dentist agrees to remove the tooth, but the author uses certain imagery and setting to show that he does not like it. Also, the description of the mayor’s pain implies the dentist was not as subtle about his dislike of the mayor.
The author drives the mayor’s corruption home with the final line of the story. In my opinion this is a great finishing line because it reveals that the mayor really is corrupt and has no issue with revealing that he knows he’s corrupt. Just like how the story started, which usually doesn’t work in stories, but worked for this story, the author uses dialogue to finish the story. The plot may not be resolved in the sense of a normal story would with resolution, but it works for this story. Without the resolution of the mayor’s corruption it becomes a story that you really think about. Instead of sympathizing with the dentist, which I thought would be the main character in this story, instead you sympathize with the town the mayor is running. Even with revealing so little about the town you still manage to feel sorry for the people who reside in it.
The techniques of the author will be useful in this class. The major thing I learned as a writer is revealing things that matter, but not revealing everything and leaving enough for the reader to imply and interpret; sometimes it’s best to show and not tell so revelations can be made. The title was very good as well. I could almost imagine a character like the dentist, or a third character, saying outloud “One of these days I’m going to stop that corrupt man.” This indicates the importance of titles and is something I will consider for the next story I write.
Longer Story - The Wolf in Trouble, Part 1
This thing is pretty long, so I posted it to my external Livejournal account - you can read it by following the link below. It's the (very rough) opening to my novel, so it is a chapter, not the whole story. Just so you don't get confused!
Follow the link: The Wolf in Trouble, Pt. 1
Follow the link: The Wolf in Trouble, Pt. 1
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