Long Story: Kady Oliker

If Only
One was a stripper, another a writer, the last a photographer. Some would say that we had absolutely nothing in common; I beg to differ. We were just three souls entangled in a magical dance, all awaiting the same disappointment. I wish I could tell you that she felt remorse, I wish I could inform you that her body was not lying six feet under for eternity and I wish I could say that I saved her but “could haves and what ifs” weren’t going to save our three lives.

Kendal:
I thought we had the perfect relationship. From the moment he moved in across the hall in building 51, I knew we were destined to be together. There was this aura about him, the way he found humor in everything and never took life too seriously; he was like my other half. Granted, I didn’t live the most respectable life, but when he was around, I really didn’t care. I was who I was around him and that’s all that mattered; he loved me through all the long nights at the club.
I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on his photos, I was stunned; I always thought one day he’d be a professional photographer. They were flawless, the way the light was always perfect and the subjects so unassuming; just like the one on his refrigerator. It was a girl hiding behind a pillow, her eyes just peering over it in black and white. It was one of the prettiest pictures I think I’d ever seen, the sun was just about to set, the light circled her head like a halo and the contrast of the bleach white pillow made her dark eyes sparkle, and that’s when I knew. I think I always knew to some degree but never really wanted to accept it. The second Carter told me he was leaving me for that skank back home I knew what I had to do; it just dawned on me one night. I decided if I couldn’t have him, no one was worthy, especially her. So I found out what flight he was taking back to Hilton Head, grabbed one sooner and made my move. I’m not going to lie to you; I almost did feel a little bit guilty pulling up to her house. I mean it was just so cute, slatted white house, with a blue door, white picket fence and a river running near the back of it. The trees had overgrown into their yard, creating a blanket of security. I looked down into my crimson purse, making sure the handgun was still there and proceeded up the cobblestone steps. I knocked three times before a girl, with a towel wrapped atop her head, answered. I said, “Hi, I’m Kendal, are you Sophia?” It was almost time.

Sophia:
“Mom, I got it!” I had just jumped out of the shower when the doorbell rang. I had long since given up on the hope that surged through my body hoping every time it was Carter, so I casually opened the door. Standing before me was a beautiful woman with platinum bleached-blond hair and blood-red stilettos. “Hi, I’m Kendal are you Sophia?”
“Yes…”
“I came here to talk to you about Carter, can we chat?” I nodded and let her in directing her to the backyard where the noise of the party wouldn’t disturb what she had to share with me. As we walked back, a sinking pit fell in my stomach, something was wrong with Carter. I turned around to find Kendal pointing a sliver gun at me. I knew this was it, the moment it all ended and I was surprisingly calm.
“You can’t have him, he’s mine!”
“Kendal, what are you talking about?”
“Carter, he loves you, always has. I could see it in his eyes, but you’re not worthy of him, not even close!”
“Kendal, calm down, I haven’t seen him in five years, you must be thinking of someone-_
“No, it’s you, I recognize you from his fridge. You stole him from me…”
I thought, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation had I never met Carter. The bullet shot into my chest. I’ve never felt such pain in my life, my mind went blank except for the very last time I saw Carter Dean. He’d gotten that job in California he’d so dreamed of and decided to take it.
The sky was a deep shade of blue the morning we said goodbye. The birds had stopped their monotonous chirping just long enough to hear the parting words. We stood in the middle of the road, embraced in each other’s arms; you could cut the tension with a knife. He bent over, whispered, “good luck Griggs,” before turning, letting my hand go slowly and boarding the grey hound bus. I watched the most amazing person walk right out of my life with so much regret wrapped around my heart. I had always longed to tell Carter how I felt, but never had the guts. I honestly never thought I’d see him again, and I wasn’t bitter. I accepted this fact and tried to move on with my life to no avail. He was always on my mind and would be forever. Someone once told me that the first person you love steals your heart, and that’s exactly what Carter Dean did, he took it with him across the country. But to be honest at this moment, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, I’d rather go out now then never have met the most influential person in my life. I realized my greatest fear had been that he would leave and never look back to me but I was wrong. There he stood, the same mesmerizing green eyes that I had watched board that bus five years before were now watching me die…Darkness.

Carter:
The only flight I could get was out of Oakland at 12:30 AM with a two-hour layover in Chicago. I boarded flight 523 with butterflies in my stomach and wild ideas bouncing through my head. I wrote and rewrote what I was going to say to her on nine napkins before drifting to sleep.
“We are making our final descent into the Chicago O’Hare airport. Please place all tray tables and seats in the full and upright position and turn off all electronics. We would like to thank you for choosing American Airlines and hope you join us again soon. Flight attendants, prepare for landing.” I was awakened by the mechanical voice of the attendants as they made their final rounds to collect drinks and empty peanut wrappers. I stared out the window in aw at the lights that littered the ground below as each individual light twinkled back at me. The landing gear soon emerged from the belly of the plane as we landed on the runway. It was 3:30 in the morning as I stepped off the plane and made my way towards gate ten and plopped down in a plastic seat. I reached into my green canvas bag and pulled out her book. I took my pointer finger and traced the embossed letters on the front cover, Sophia Griggs.
The heavy cover was flipped open to reveal those words that had made me come back. I shut the book with the widest smile on my face and awaited the loud speaker to announce my next flight.
I de-boarded the plane with the feeling of grogginess being taken over by excitement. I could picture the look on her face now; a huge smile spreading from ear to ear as she opened the door to find me waiting there. We would embrace each other and kiss the kiss that held five years of emotion and sorrow all together. I would apologize for ever leaving and not realizing how in love I was. I then would utter two words that would bond us together forever, “Marry me?”
But as I drove up to the house near the river, walked through the picket fence, up the three steps and knocked on the door, all my visions were destroyed. Standing before me was Sophia’s mother with apron in one hand and a beaming smile across her face. “Carter Dean, now what in the hell are you doing back here. We haven’t seen you in almost five years!” She embraced me, not exactly what I’d had in mind, and kissed me on the cheek.
“Soph’s out back with a new friend of hers. Oh what’s her name-” She put her hand up to her forehead. “Kendal.” My mouth dropped open as I pushed past her and sprinted towards the sliding door. I pushed it back to reveal Kendal holding a gun, pointed at Sophia, her hands in the air.
The silver gun, glistening in the sun, sat comfortably in Kendal’s shaking hand whilst the point finger and thumb prepared for battle. Her eyes were wild with fear and anger, darting from side to side. “You can’t have him, he’s mine and I won’t give him up! I don’t care how much you love him. You don’t ever get to fucking touch him again!” Kendal turned her head, looked directly into my eyes with a mischievous smile before turning back to Sophia and pulling the trigger. The bullet shot out hitting Sophia directly in the chest. The scarlet liquid seeped from beneath her white shirt into the crevices of the sidewalk. Church bells were the only thing to break the eerie silence. Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong…
My world froze. The next few minutes were like slow motion. It’s hard to describe what it’s like when I’m still trying to cope with it myself. I held Sophia, feeling the life slip away from her and mouthed ‘I love you.” She mouthed it back but all I could think about was the first time I’d laid eyes on her.
It was the sixth time we’d moved, and frankly I just stopped unpacking. Every time I would be settled and the brown boxes stashed away, they would reappear at the foot of my bed with a note reading “I’m sorry hunny.” But “this time was supposed to be different,” coaxed my mother. “We were here to stay.”
The six cities consisted of everything from huge cities, like New York, to small farms just south of Iowa. But this place somehow was different. The town of Hilton Head was apparently in the shape of a boot and consisted of one small main street with a Joe’s grocer, a gas station, an auto repair shop and a souvenir shop that hadn’t been used in some ten years. There was a delta that flowed through the outskirts of the town, separating what was known as the “spot” from everywhere else. Lining the murky shores stood wooden docks and behind them, white houses with red roofs and doors.
But when we pulled up on that June morning, I saw what made this town different. Lying on a striped green lawn chair in a blue bathing suit was the girl next door. Her perfectly proportionate body, with its glorious curves and all, sat propped up against that chair, nose engrossed in a Cosmo. Her long dirty-blond hair was draped over her shoulders and when she pushed it out of her face, her lips were revealed; it’s what instantly drew me to her.
As the paramedics pulled into the driveway and unloaded their equipment, I bent over and kissed those ruby red lips; they felt exactly as I had imagined. The paramedics laid the sheet over her body and removed it onto the gurney leaving only the blood splatters as memories. Tears now flowed freely down my cheeks, how could I have been so blind for so long? I knew she might have had feelings but I was too scared, of rejection or something I still cannot say for sure. I wasn’t perfect, but she was, and we could have been if only; if only I hadn’t moved to San Francisco, if only I hadn’t met Kendal, if only I’d said ‘I love you’ sooner. The guilt would forever eat at my core, the unanswered questions circling through my head; if only, if only, if only…