I figured with all the certificates on the wall and the corner office why not give you a crack at this one?
So, long story short, the kid’s your typical delusional case (a healthy dose of repressed anger, sexual confusion, etc. etc.), except with a twist -- he is obsessed with comics. He eviscerated his neighbor’s cat while wearing tights and a cape. What’s this world coming to?
There’s a Nobel for you in this one if you can crack it. At the very least, I’ll owe you a beer.
I gave him our usual prompt. He decided to answer the first part and completely ignored the second. Nothing special there.
Essay Response [2/14/2002]:
Think of a passion, and describe it in detail. Then, with equal detail, describe how that passion can become a tool for positivity.
Each page is a like a window, and every panel a pane. It’s up to you to fill in the movement, the voices, sounds, colors, and everything else in between. People look down on comic books, they think they’re somehow less work to read than “regular” books. No I don’t think that’s true, and no, I’m not one of those people who’s started calling them “graphic novels.” That’s just an acknowledgment that they somehow don’t live up, that on its own, a comic book couldn’t stand muster against Ulysses. So that’s why I stubbornly refer to them as comic books. I do it because I respect them.
-- 60 mg fluoxetine hydrochlorideorally once daily [begun 2/15/2002]
Here’s my interview with him, obviously a lot less lucid when he talks than in his writing.
Recorded Interview (Transcript) [2/18/2002]:
“… well, that’s interesting phrasing, certainly. I mean, what more is there to say? Of course it’s an illusion. What does that make this, then? I don’t want to become… what I’m trying to say is… we’re all deluded anyways, right? What’s the point? How are you going to define escape? We’re all just escaping things. Freud said that. Of course I read them to escape. What’s great about reality? Do you like coming here every day?”
-- Lowered to 30 mg fluoxetine hydrochlorideorally orally once daily [begun 2/18/2002]
Incident Report [2:13pm 2/19/2002]
[…] broke -------‘s nose b.c. he “looked like fucking the Green Lantern. I hate the Green Lantern.” Group continued. Had him taken to Isolation. Change in meds rec.
I had to keep a straight face through the rest of the session. Most difficult 23 minutes of my life.
-- Switched to 16 mg perphenazine orally once daily [begun 2/18/2002]
Night watch log [3:13am 2/22/2002]
[whoever was on duty was even kind enough to take a picture, it’s included in the file. If you just have to see it, take my advice and do so on an empty stomach, do you ever take a break for lunch by the way? I’m just wondering what the best way is to get ahead here…]
[…] used feces to create comic strip along doorframe and across wall. Was trying to set clothes on fire with overhead lighting before he was restrained. Taken to Isolation. Sleeping meds rec.
-- 16 mg perphenazine orally once daily
-- 60 mg phenobarbitone orally before night shift [begun 2/22/2002]
This is where it got weird. He started living out his comic book delusions literally. I mean literally as a comic book. He only moved in “frames.” I didn’t believe the on-duty nurse when she described it to me until I came in and watched him myself for an hour. AN HOUR. I finally had him sedated so I could figure out what to do with him.
It’d go something like this: he’d take a few steps, so he could get into position for his frame, then stay there frozen, only moving his lips to perform his “dialogue.” It didn’t matter that if the person he was talking to had left the room, he’d still be standing there, staring at where’d they’d been when he’d started talking as if they were still there having a conversation with him. I wish I had a video that I could show you, never saw anything like it in 16 years.
-- 16 mg perphenazine orally once daily
-- 60 mg phenobarbitone orally before night shift
-- 450 ml xylomenoglophatine I.V. after morning meal [begun 2/24/02]
Notice that one that start with the x? I finally got some grant money, believe or not. Not that that’s anything new to you. Whose ass do you
It gets even better after this. Here’s some of our conversations over the course of the following week (remember he’s saying all of this completely frozen):
“Whatever you’ve done with Lois, it won’t be forgiven, not by me, not by Bruce, and not by humanity.”
“Whenever I look into your cold, dead eyes, I know evil.”
“When I get out of here, the world will know.”
I wish I could remember all of them. The staff had made a corkboard of them in the nurse’s station. If you’re ever actually in the East Wing come check them out. I understand the Administrative floor is its own world, why bother making rounds in the places where the actual work gets done?
-- 16 mg perphenazine orally once daily
-- 60 mg phenobarbitone orally before night shift
-- 450 ml xylomenoglophatine I.V. after morning meal
-- 1046 ml liprosiamorphoninekryptoid with afternoon yogurt [begun 3/1/02]
The lipro made him start vibrating. I couldn’t help it, I started laughing during rounds last Friday. What’s-her-face with the big tits gave me a look. I also had to replace the night watch, he was getting attached to comic book boy.
Wasn’t sure what to do next, so I went ahead and improvised. I know it isn’t what you’d do, but hey, you’ve got that nice view, right? Why should you care.
-- 16 mg perphenazine orally once daily
-- 60 mg phenobarbitone orally before night shift
-- 450 ml xylomenoglophatine I.V. after morning meal
-- 1046 ml liprosiamorphoninekryptoid with afternoon yogurt
-- 45 mg Tide High Concentrate™
This was where he started getting a little lethargic. No more sexual response to any of the female staff. I changed the dress code to shorts and cleavage-complimenting tees. The kind your wife wears. I changed up the dosages a bit.
-- 16 mg perphenazine orally once daily
-- 60 mg phenobarbitone orally before night shift
-- 450 ml xylomenoglophatine I.V. after morning meal
-- 1046 ml liprosiamorphoninekryptoid with afternoon yogurt
-- 45 mg Tide High Concentrate™
-- 666 mg I fucked your wife.
Okay, obviously you can tell I’m joking. But really -- not really. I mean every position. Face in the pillow, just begging, begging for obviously something that she just hasn’t been receiving in a long time. What with all that time you must spend dusting off those mahogany temples for all of your published work, I don’t see how there’s any time for your wife. But really, I should be the one feeling impotent right now. I know who’s on the rise and whose star’s faded. I know who’ll be getting the grants and research assistants and who’ll be stuck with hopeless in-patients. We both know who’s gonna make it outta this shithole and who’s going to work here till he get’s his pension so he can retire early and spend the rest of his days sitting on his ass and drinking Metamucil. But you know, what? It’s not all gonna be bad. Cause that pension’ll be paying for more time for me to be fucking your wife. I hope that you’ve already found about this. That she called out my name the last time she climaxed. But honestly, when I consider which is more likely to happen first: that you’ll get laid, or that you’ll get this memo first, I just have to resign myself to reality.
Yours truly,
Rick Dunlap, P.h.D
P.S. Cartoon boy’s real by the way. I taught him how to make a scene out of me and your wife. You should come by and see it, he’s pretty good. He even drew out a comic strip. I’ve included it.
P.P.S. Fuck you
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