Critical Response 3

Colleen Mundy
Dr. Tony Barnstone
ENGL 302
March 10, 2009

Critical Response #3
To: Allyson Yuen
I think that this was an amazing idea for this story assignment. The idea of a money tree is a very easy idea to connect to a vast majority of people. I think everyone has wished for a money tree at least once in their life. I think that this story has the power to attract many people because of this idea.
The introduction for me was a little bit weak in the description, but the idea came across just as well. There were some tense agreements and personal narrative issues that I marked on the hard copy of the story, but other than that I think my only big problem with this story was the ending. It felt so rushed. Maybe if you had more time to develop it, the ending could have been more powerful, but I think the personal description of what the narrator did with the money and thought to do with the money was good. However, I think it could have been a little bit more developed. I wanted more of how the person felt with all of the money. It is not an everyday occurrence to find a money tree (obviously) and I wanted more on what they were feeling and also more on why they were so isolated from other people. That is a really powerful idea; isolation. I think you should build on that idea and move more into what the narrator was feeling toward other people. Were they afraid of people trying to take their money? Show me more description on the narrator and effects of the money. If that much money came into a person’s life with no sign of ever depleting, there life would change dramatically. And I think that you touched on that idea, but ran through it very quickly. It was description/explanation sentences one after another with nothing delving into the deeper aspect of the money’s effects.