Magical Transformation Story

ATTN: TIPS & INFO OF IMPORT
The National Enquirer
4950 Communication Ave # 100
Boca Raton, FL 33431



To Whom It May Concern:

It’s absolutely true. All of it. It’s a story of magical transformation. One thing, becoming something entirely different. For no apparent reason. That’s what makes it magical. This morning, at 6:32am I discovered my blue pen… was no longer blue. Instead of a tidy ribbon of blue ink coming out of its writing end, it was in fact a tidy ribbon of green ink coming out of its writing end. It happened sometime between my going to bed—7:27am, and as I said before, 5:13am, this morning, when I discovered it had been altered permanently. The landlord doesn’t believe me, but he still hasn’t stopped the seances they’ve been holding upstairs (he gets a lot of visitors late at night, in fact he gets the same visitor at the same time every third Tuesday of the month, a sloppy looking guy, I know because I’ve been photographing him, but I’ll put that in a separate letter, being able to file things is important, as I’m sure you know). What was I saying? Oh, that’s right. And, it’s true, I did put my blue pen in a basket full of pens of many other colors, but this blue pen, it had a little chew mark on the end (I think from me), and now this green pen, it has that mark. But really, this raises all kinds of questions, like how did my blue pen magically become a green pen? And, how can this advance the sciences, human knowledge, and the collective good of our species for generations to come? And, does this new green pen imbue its magical properties on all it writes? What do I do when it runs out of ink? Can it run out of ink? And who do I tell first about this (after my landlord, I did already tell him (didn’t I? (I’m not sure) ) )?

That last question is the one I’ll answer. It came to me in my quiet time after the News Hour. I would send it to you. The rest is up to you. The world needs to know. America’s future is in your hands. But I’m sure you are up to it.

Best Wishes,
Gertrude Hersey
717 Barnard St Apt. G
Fargo, ND 58102